30 October 2014

Hi dear diary,

It turns out today i found out that my ass manager is having a relationship with the people i love, i care and i like the most. and it does feel so HURTTTTTT.... it does. it is like thrust your heart directly. I do ask that why the person i love not choosing me,. i don't even have a chance to said out loud. It does a very stupid and immature feeling am i. Life is a journey. Full of rocks, some of it might tearing out your skin, someone is just some rocks. What am i doing now is stepping a really sharp gravel. It is so SHARP and it will bleed, it does bleed in the deepest of my heart. And my ass manager come to me with 'AN ANGER' which i don't expect to accept it.

My friend told me that if i really love someone i have to let them GO. if you asked me i will said of course not. but i have to try to let them go. people say that love is red and full of colors. I don't think so, for me LOVE IS BLACK right now.

Do i have to say this to people i like even they are relationship? i don't EXPECT anything or even ACTION from them. i do only need them to know that i have feeling for them. The word will be like this

Hi, i don't know what it started i just feel comfy and happy when i am around you even beside you, making you smile is one of my target day by day. I know you have been in relationship with the people i trust the most for 8 years and he had chosen to dumped me as a friend and you as a boyfriend. i don't want to ruin your relationship with him. i just want you to know that i was crying almost 2 months in a row along my journey from office to house. almost everyday. i have to pretend i don't know anything in front of you guys, reality sucks and fuck,,,,, he might be the best people you had along your life,. but i cried that why i didn't have a fucking chance to express my feeling. love always not on my side. But anyway thanks a lot for filling my page with laughter and smile. even black stain is the stain you left in my pages rite now, but that's okay i will accept it as a human, From the deepest of my heart is wishing you happiness and congratulation to you. I really do. i have to pray for your both happiness. but if you asked me are you serious? i will say hell yeah,. For the first time of course NOT. is fucking not easy, but i have to a bigger people a bigger people. that's memory will always stuck in my mind forever even i can't have the love..

Regards
ken